“Psychology of Women Assignment”
When thinking about which gender norm to violate, I found
it hard to think of a simple one that I do not already violate.
…For one day, I wore a short skirt and a pair of opaque
tights and sat with my legs spread apart. In class, my feet were on the floor,
[I was wearing heels,
and one of my male friends was sitting across from me.]
and elsewhere (Saga, Jazzman’s, Rose Creek Coffee Co-op)
[I reached out my leg
and pressed my heel into his crotch. I felt it sink into his softness. His
mouth twitched.]
I put my feet on other furniture on occasion. Especially
while in class, I was physically quite uncomfortable. It hurt my back and hips
to sit so spread out. …
[Sex has always been
painful for me. I feel like I am opening up for the world.
Since only the campus community was witnessing me violate
this norm, and in general is quite used to gender norm violation, I was not
nervous in the way I would have been if I had gone
[ventured]
into Strichmont to collect my data.
[I have been subjected
to the hands of several aggressive men.]
For the most part, people didn’t say much of anything to me.
… I didn’t receive any treatment different from that given to the men around me
who were sitting the same way.
[When he said “Hey,” I
dug my heel deeper in, harder until it broke off and he cried.]
It seemed as if people weren’t thinking, “That’s not very
ladylike!” but were actually thinking, “That’s not very polite!” When I was
[eating out]
in Jazzman’s, no one said anything to me—no one even looked
at me.
[Once, my legs were
spread open and I felt compelled to hook my fingers under the left leg of my
tights and slide it down my leg, all the way to my ankle.]
… Most people looked longer and more frequently at my lap
when talking to me. That reaction was the one that made me most uncomfortable,
since I am not at all used to people not looking at my face while we talk. One
of my friends exclaimed, “Sammy! Close your legs!”
[I replied by opening
them further and then slamming them closed so my thighs were like a gnashing
monster.]
and another asked me in all seriousness, “Do you have a
groin injury?”
[I said, “Nom nom, it’s going to eat you.” She
looked away.]
*
I will be recording a video this weekend of myself reading a
sexy section of Five Days to post on
the Oysters and Chocolate website nearer the publication date (December 1). Hopefully
Amanda will do one as well. Stay tuned. It will be terrific.
